November 5, 2001
An open letter to the Cleveland Browns defensive coordinator:
Dear Slapdoodle,
While I'm pleased with the way the defense performed in the first six games of the season, please be advised: If I were the GM, I'd have fired your dumb ass the instant you called the prevent defense. What one Earth were you thinking? Of all the idiotic schemes you could have called, that one takes the cake.
I don't know if you've noticed, but the history of the Browns goes back beyond 1999. And the fans still have a very bad taste in their mouth over another, rather famous, calling of the prevent. You might have heard some people refer to it as "The Drive."
But the fans' feelings aside, I thought you were a professional? It's been shown time and time again that the only thing the prevent accomplishes is losing you the ballgame. You had the Bears on the run for the entire game. Why change? What defective neuron in your brain fired and said, "Hey, let's run the prevent!" How can any coach beyond the pee-wee league even give this strategy any thought whatsoever? You should know better, and Butch Davis should have known better than to let you try it.
So be glad I'm not Carmen Policy. 'Cause you'd be out on the street right now, trying to figure out where the hell your career just went.
Update
Note to self: Don't write an entry when you've had a few beers and you're ticked off about your team blowing an important game. I've toned down the language to something like normal for me. It was pretty silly before.
