February 12, 2004
Well, the MyDoom virus is set to peter out this week. But have no fear, The Register says there are more viruses looking to exploit the backdoor MyDoom creates to launch their own DDoS attacks. And everyone who has the slightest inkling of computer security is once again rolling their eyes at the idiots.
Y'know what? I'm sick of reading about DDoS attempts on windowsupdate.com, or sco.com, or microsoft.com. That's not high-stakes enough. Even if some retard opens the HappyFunFile.jpg.exe attachment he receives, it doesn't really do any harm to him. All the people on his mailing list who get spammed, yes. People who want to use the site being targeted, yes. People who just want to use the Internet and are slowed down by all the virus traffic, yes. But the idiots either don't know or don't care, and their machines become a clearing house for script-kiddies.
I want a different virus. I want one that deletes the contents of the idiot's hard drive then runs ZeroFill a couple times to make sure the data can't be retrieved. It will then install DOS 1.0 and create a file called DUMBFUCK.TXT that, when opened, will say: "This is what you get for opening attachments in an e-mail, just because it came from someone whose name sounds slightly familiar to you, even though it's poorly-spelled, completely ungrammatical and filled with strings of random letters. What in the hell were you thinking?"
Maybe when people start getting bludgeoned by their own stupidity they'll get a clue. If not, at least there'll be one less person online who doesn't deserve a computer.
