April 6, 2015
So after my first attempt at online dating a few years ago ended with me not actually doing anything, I decided to try again. By which I mean, "actually try". I've gone in on this app and set myself up an account. Of course, it suggests I upload some pictures of myself. I mean, of course it does. Except I don't really take pictures of myself very often. I know what I look like, after all.
OK, let's see. I went to an Indians game over the July Fourth weekend last year, and took a picture of myself wearing a silly balloon hat. That could work. I scroll back through the phone's photo gallery and find the pic. Except on further review it looks less like a brightly-colored balloon baseball cap and more like a brightly-colored balloon penis.
"Ladies..."
All right, that's a non-starter. Hmm, what else. Well, when I was in the U.K. back at the end of 2013 I had my friend take a picture of me while I was on the London Eye. That ought to be just fine.
"Y HALLO THAR"
...
This may take a while.
